no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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