She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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