Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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