Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she smelled like a LAN party
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize