garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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