It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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