Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
