craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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