when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
