Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
