Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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