I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
