Sponge bath it is.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
