STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
