I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's never too late to be topless.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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