Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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