I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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