woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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