He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
