I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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