I love black thongs
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
