We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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