she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
