I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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