Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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