Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
