don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
