I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
