This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
