I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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