I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
