my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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