Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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