They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
