ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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