jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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