All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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