just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
