i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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