i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
