Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize