omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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