remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
