Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
