Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize