Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
