No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
