You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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