dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
