Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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