these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
