I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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