I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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