i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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