If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You took a bar mat shot.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
