I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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