She's JV to your varsity
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
