the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
