Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
