I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
