My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
please come you make the beer taste better
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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