so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
