i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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